Game-Land: A BR romp through the arcade to end all
by DraconumPB
Summary: Alright, I lied... one last chapter! The heroes now take on the 'Axis of Evil!!!' Go! Now! Read!
1. Chapter One: Squawking Bird-brains, and ...

Game-Land...  
  
DISCLAIMER: Hudson characters.... a *few* gags were inspired by other fics but I REALLY tried not to rip off anybody's jokes. Let me know how it is, it's my first one... and also, I don't have the game (any of them) so if any of the chars sound weird.. oh and one more thing... the next chapter is done and just waiting to be typed. Byebye! Hope you enjoy.  
  
  
Uriko: Common, Kenji...  
  
Kenji: Don't worry.. I'm coming... *small grin*  
  
The two, followed by older bro and sis, Yugo and Alice.. make their way through the busy city streets..  
  
Uriko: I'm glad you could come, Kenji.. *wide smile*  
  
Alice (who isn't too far behind): Uriko.... -_-  
  
Uriko: Oh, COME ON sis, it's just Kenji, not that perverted weirdo.  
  
Kenji: *disgruntled look on face as he rememebrs Cronos* Cronos... hmm.... *thoughts of Cronos being ripped to shreds*...I suddenly had a craving for chicken.. Don't know why ~_~  
  
Yugo: Uh... why?  
  
All: -_-  
  
Yugo: Whaaaat? Common, tell me!!  
  
All: -_- (times ten)  
  
Narrator: Now I see why everyone calls you a damn mutt.  
  
Yugo: Yeesh...  
  
Narrator: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways..... the group is walking through the busy streets of a crowded city. Why? Because!  
  
Kenji: So, where are we going?  
  
Uriko: Only the bestest and coolest place that exists!!  
  
Alice: And that is....?  
  
Uriko: THE WORLD'S BIGGEST ARCADE!!!  
  
Yugo: OHHH YEAH!  
  
Kenji: Heh.... I'll play ya' in DDR, Riko... ;)  
  
Uriko: *eyes glazed over* OOOH! Really? Sounds like fun!  
  
Alice & Yugo: -_-  
  
Alice: Well.. what kind of game is there that I might like?  
  
Uriko: How about the "be extremely over-protective of your little sister"-simulator?? *Kenji can't help but to chuckle at this*  
  
Kenji: No, she gets too much of that already. It's actually her second job, and gets paid by the hour for it.  
  
Alice: KENJI!! Grrrr..... do you want a rabbit-foot shaped dent in your face?!  
  
Kenji: o_o' Erm... sorry Ally.  
  
Yugo: Hey! Since when could YOU call her that?  
  
Kenji: Since everybody decided they can also call Uriko 'Riko'.  
  
Yugo: -_-  
  
Uriko: YAY! We're here!!!!  
  
Narrator: They stand in front of a huge.... massive... tall......building. It says, "Game-Land Arcade: The World's Bestest and Coolest Arcade, Ever." Now, what kinda' name is THAT? Anyways...  
  
Kenji: Race ya' to the DDR machine... ^_^  
  
Uriko: *transforms into cat* *ZOOM*  
  
Kenji: NO FAIR!! o_o *runs off as well*  
  
Alice: You two be careful, OK??  
  
Yugo: Haha... they are already too far away.  
  
Alice: -_-'  
  
Yugo: OH COOL! A BLOODY ROAR GAME! And it's not called Bloody Roar.... hmm... Beastorizer? Interesting... OH OH I'M GONNA BE YUGO! Wanna play, Ally?  
  
Alice: Uhm.... no thanks.  
  
(A/N: I have seen that game myself. I'm not sure if it was like, Japanese, or before it was called Bloody Roar, or what. Well, anyways, it's kinda old. And I cannot remember what chars where in it and which ones wern't... Aaaanyways...)  
  
Narrator: At the DDR machine....  
  
Uriko: ^_^ I'm beating you soo badly... *grin*  
  
Kenji: No fair again! Cats are just TOO fast!  
  
Uriko *Looks down at self.. is still in half-beast form..* Er.... hehe ^_~.... well, it's OK... 'cuz you still get a consolation prize!  
  
Kenji: ....and what would that- *garbled because of Uriko suddenly embracing him* OK OK.... out of kitty-form, alright? *Uriko releases tight grip when she realizes she is still in half-beast form and capable of strangling him to death by accident.*  
  
Uriko: *changes back* Oops! Hehe...  
  
Kenji: Heh... it's OK.... just that people were staring! Not that it bothers me, of course.... Well, how about we-  
  
Uriko: !!! BEASTORIZER!! OOOH! That's the game where...  
  
Kenji: Hey isn't that Yugo??  
  
Yugo: Aw, dammit... *pounds fist on game cabinet*  
  
(A/N: You KNEW he'd suck at it.)  
  
Yugo: HEY!  
  
Narrotor: Yugo has lost horribly, playing as Yugo and fighting Alice (verses the CPU opponent, that is).  
  
Alice: Well I TOLD YOU... but no... didn't listen, did you??  
  
Yugo: Grrr.... how about this. You fight me, play as Alice, I'll be Yugo.. and if I win, I get a kiss, OK??  
  
Alice: HAH! You're on!  
  
Narrator: As the camera swoops back on Riko and Ken, watching from afar... we see them contemplating the impending match.  
  
Uriko: Nevermind. Sis just took over the second player. -_-  
  
Kenji: Heh.. I bet your sis wins.  
  
Narrator: Little do they realize, Cronos and his servant, Ganesha are heading this way...  
  
Uriko: No arguments there....Well alright.. let's go over and watc- HEY! Cronos! Damn it! (pstt... Kenji... hide!! I don't want that jerk coming near us!)  
  
Cronos: OH! Milady Uriko! How wonderful it is to see you here!!! *Ganesha followed behind as usual*...Oh, and you.... you... scum. Please step away from my kitten- *Gets cut off by Kenji in an outrage*  
  
Kenji: EXCUUUUUSE ME?! DID YOU JUST CALL RIKO YOUR KITTEN????????? Hahaha..... you will DEFINATELY regret this one....  
  
Uriko: (psst... what kind of Zoanthrope is he?? Some sort of bird-thing, right?)  
  
Kenji: (psst... you'll see...)  
  
Cronos: Very well then! *transforms*  
  
Ken+Riko:.......  
  
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....hahahaha....hehe......   
  
Uriko: Sorry umm it's just that..  
  
Cronos: *squawk*  
  
Kenji: *bursting out in laughter again*  
  
Uriko: A PENGUIN??? You are lamer than I thought!! Kenji, look out, you might get PECKED to death.. HAHAHAHA.....  
  
Ganesha: Do not insult his high- OOF!! *gets jabbed by Kenji in the gut.*  
  
Uriko: *Transforms into kitty again* Take THIS, chicken-wuss! RRRRAWR!  
  
Cronos: *squawk* My darling, what ever do you mea-OOF!! *Cronos gets throw back into a Skee-Ball machine by Riko's kick in the face, and returns to human form.*  
  
Uriko: ^_^ I did good, didn't I!  
  
Kenji: ^_^ The best yet! *hugs Riko, who then hugs back and again, nearly strangles Kenji*  
  
Kenji: -_- Erm...  
  
Uriko: Heehee! Sorry again! *Changes back*  
  
Narrator: By now, many, many people are watching the freak show. Some are too hyped up on sugar or drunk to even care, hell they see this kind of thing all the time (In their minds, of course), but the sober ones watch very closely, and see that Cronos is removing himself from the Skee-Ball machine, with great difficulty.  
  
Ganesha: Master, may I assist you in evacuating this amusement-machine?  
  
Cronos: YES, Ganesha... I think you should. Agh...  
  
*Cronos is helped out by Ganesha and dusts off his clothes.*  
  
Cronos: Now, Madam Uriko, I see that this ruffian has put you under some sort of trance. I will help correct this problem right away. Ganesha, faithful servant, see that this young Miss is treated immediately.  
  
Ganesha: Yes, sir. *Begins to approach Riko*  
  
Narrator: Common, Kenji, get in his way!  
  
Kenji:....huh? Oh, um yeah...Hey Fatso, what do you think YOU'RE doing, hmm? *steps in front of Uriko, blocking Ganesha from her*  
  
Ganesha: I am only carrying out the orders put into place my master Cronos, and-  
  
Kenji: IS THAT SO..... *transforms into a mole, and Ganesha retaliates by transforming into an elephant.*  
  
Uriko: You've got to be kidding me... Well, anyways, go Kenji!! Ah, what the heck, I'll help kick his sorry-ass too... *Again, transforms back into her cat-form.*  
  
Narrator: Heh... now THAT's what I'm talking about. Double-team that behemoth! =D  
  
Cronos and Ganesha: O_O  
  
Ganesha: We shall see who will prevail!  
  
*The two sides begin fighting.*  
  
Narrator: Now let's head back to Yugo and his obviously superior opponent.  
  
Yugo: I'm sorry.. BUT THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT!  
  
Alice: Look, wolfie..... you just suck at that game, alright? Admit it. ^_^  
  
Yugo: I WAS TALKING TO THE NARRATOR. Ahem. Oh, and thanks for the compliment.... -_-  
  
Alice: Hehe..uhm... nevermind.  
  
Yugo: Uh..hey wait a second.. isn't that Uriko and Kenji? I thought they were at that Dance Dance Evolution game.  
  
Narrator: Yes, it is Uriko and Kenji. And it's Revolution, dumb mutt.  
  
Yugo: Why does everyone call me that....?  
  
Alice: URIKO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  
  
Yugo: Looks like they are about to kick the ass of that very large man... err... elephant... err...  
  
Narrator: Sure are. Let's go take a look.  
  
*The cat and mole were easily dodging all that the slow, lumbering elephant dishes out.*  
  
Cronos: Ganesha! My faithful servant, I shall assist you! *Transforms and waddles over to the fighting trio.*  
  
Uriko: Ohhh no.... you're not getting near my Kenji! *Uriko kicks Cronos again.*  
  
Cronos: *SQUAWK* Darling, I will help you-AGH! *Cronos again flies back into the Skee-Ball machine.*.....my poor Uriko! She is very ill! Well, all the more reason she shall soon see professional treatment! *Cronos tries to pull himself out of the Skee-Ball machine again*  
  
Uriko: In your dreams, Crono-jerk... *Continues fighting*  
  
Ganesha: Why.... can't I hit them....?  
  
Kenji: Well, maybe MY Kitten is just a bit faster than you, Fatso. *Preforms a strong slash on Ganesha's chest*  
  
Narrator: Just waaaaaaaaaaaait a second.  
  
All: What?  
  
Narrator: What were Cronos and Ganesha doing here in the first place?  
  
Uriko: How am I supposed to know that?  
  
Kenji: Yeah, I mean we arn't walking libraries for chrissakes!  
  
Narrator: Well, he IS your final boss, after all.  
  
Uriko: Really?  
  
Narrator: Yes.  
  
Uriko: O_O...That was easy.  
  
Narrator: Not so in the real game. You see how short he is? Well, it makes him very hard to hit.  
  
Uriko: Cronos, you cheap bastard! Now I hate you even more!  
  
Narrator: Oh, well. Hey, look! It's Gauntlet Legends! I call the Wizard!  
  
Kenji and Uriko: -_-'  
  
Yugo: Hey, cool, that dude looks alot like me! I wanna play too! *Picks the warrior*  
  
Alice, Kenji, and Uriko: -_-'  
  
Ganesha: Hey, Cron-man, wanna go join them in Gauntlet?  
  
Cronos: Where did you learn to speak like that?  
  
Ganesha: I dunno. Just picked it up somehow. Anyways, we better rush to the Gauntlet machine, dude, or we'll lose our spots! Common!  
  
Cronos: O_O Erm... okay....  
  
Narrator: Aw crud, I'm dead... just one..more quarter.. what's that? You want to check on Uriko and Kenji? Go over there yourself! I'M BUSY.  
  
Uriko: Well, Kenji.. now that we don't have to worry about Cron-freak and Fat-esha, what do you want to do?  
  
Kenji: Err... *wide grin*  
  
Uriko: OOOH! They have a "Tunnel of Love"! How perfect!!! *Drags Kenji to it*  
  
Kenji: ^_~ Erm... okay...  
  
Narrator: I shall now punish you for plageurism.  
  
Kenji: Why?  
  
Narrator: Cronos already used the line, "Erm...Okay..."  
  
Uriko: Stop picking on my Kenji!  
  
Kenji: Yeah, and besides, he didn't use this cute little emoticon, either: ^_~ . He used this one: O_O .  
  
Narrator: Erm... okay..... (DOH!)  
  
Uriko: Common, Kenji!!  
  
Kenji: Hold on, Riko, let me finish arguing with-  
  
Uriko seemingly mewed the request..  
  
Uriko: P-p-p-please.....Kenji??  
  
Kenji:.... I uh... erm... well Narrator it was nice talkin' to ya'. I... I gotta go now....... =)  
  
Narrator: -_-' ... Well I guess those two are off to do.. whatever. Anyways, Yugo and Alice seem to be enjoying Dance Dance Revolution. Of course, Alice is winning. After all, what did you expect from an idiotic mutt?  
  
Yugo: I HEARD THAT!  
  
Narrator: This is your freindly neighborhood narrator, signing off! 


	2. Chapter Two: Tunnel O' Love!

CHAPTER TWO: THE TUNNEL OF LOVE!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: These characters arn't mine.. blah blah... blah...anything else that remotely resembles someone else's work, well, they shall have the credit. ETC. lol  
  
Anyways, we find our two heroes in the tunnel of love... after ditching Sir Anal Retentive....  
  
Uriko: Come on, Kenji, get in!  
  
Kenji: Why does the world's largest game arcade have a Tunnel-Of-Love?!?!  
  
Uriko:..... uhh.....  
  
Narrator: Don't ask me.  
  
Kenji: Ok, whatever... well Riko, let's get on!!  
  
Uriko: Kay! =)  
  
Narrator: Uriko hops and skips into a boat along with Kenji when... suddenly, Alice and Yugo come running up behind them! Unfortunately, (or fortunately, perhaps?) the two were already in a boat, drifting away.  
  
Alice: URIKO!!  
  
Yugo: KENJI!!  
  
Kenji & Uriko: O_O  
  
Alice: Get back here you two!! Get back here!!  
  
Yugo: Lucky man, Kenji! I sure wish ALLY here would go on this boat ride with me, why if-  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Yugo: Oww!!  
  
Alice: Kenji! You better keep your hands off my sis!  
  
Uriko: Oh Sis.... leave me alone for once! Me and Kenji are fine!! *To Kenji* Heehee! We got rid of 'em! Just you and me.. I guess... =)  
  
Kenji: Err... I uh... so...  
  
Uriko: Kenji... *leans up against him and puts her arms around him*.. I.....  
  
Narrator: CUT!  
  
Kenji + Uriko: Whaaaat????  
  
Narrator: This is only supposed to be a PG-rated story!!  
  
Uriko: Are you saying... no... Keniko....???  
  
Kenji: No Keniko?!  
  
Both: *Crying on each others' shoulders*  
  
Narrator: FINE!! Go have your darn Keniko if it means that much to you! -_-  
  
Both: YAAAAY!!!  
  
Uriko: Like I was saying... Kenji.. I...  
  
Narrator: Um.. hold up again.  
  
Uriko: SHUT THE HECK UP, YOU NINNY NARRATOR!! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY BELOVED KENJI!!! G O A W A Y!!!!!  
  
Kenji: o_o  
  
*Uriko begins to glow.. she is transforming into a cat once again.*  
  
Narrator: !!!!!!!!! Uh... umm..  
  
*SLASH!*  
  
*Narrator disintegrates*  
  
Uriko: *confused look* Oh! Where was I? Ah yes! As I was saying, Kenji... I..  
  
*FWISH*  
  
Kenji: What now?!  
  
Narrator II: Hello. I am the new replacement for Narrator.  
  
Both: -_-'  
  
Uriko: Ignore him... anyways.... Kenji... I.... I.... hey, no more inturuptions, right???  
  
Narrator II: I am unlike the first narrator, I love Keniko. ^_^ Please continue!  
  
Both: Cool!   
  
Uriko: Finally... Kenji...I....I love you.....   
  
Kenji: Uriko....... *looks deep into her beautiful, chestnut eyes....* I love you too..........  
  
Narrator II: *sniff* *sniff* *blows nose loudly* I love happy endings!! And weddings! And sandwiches!  
  
Both: -_-'  
  
Kenji: Hey,,, Riko... you're still in cat form....?  
  
Uriko: Huh? Oh, yeah, right! =^-^=  
  
Kenji: Oh. OK ^_^ .  
  
*Uriko curls tail around his leg while he starts kissing her like mad. The two are kissing (Uriko purring somewhat), kissing ,kissing until..*  
  
*FWISH*  
  
Revived Narrator: WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!  
  
Narrator II: Oh, it's you! What are you doing here??!?!?!?  
  
Revived Narrator: I'm the Narrator! I can do whatever I want!!!  
  
Narrator II: Is that so??? Well, NUH-UH, I'm the narrator now!!!  
  
Revived Narrator: What did you just say?? *SLAP*  
  
Narrator II: BRING IT! *SLAP*  
  
Revived Narrator: IT'S ALREADY BEEN BROUGHT! *SLAP*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
Uriko and Kenji: o_o ....*heads moving back and forth, watching the slap-match.*  
  
Kenji: The sad part is, I'm pretty sure that they are both guys.  
  
Uriko: Yeah, I know.....  
  
*SLAP*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
Alice: Just what is going on here!?!?!?  
  
Yugo: Yeah! Uh.. what she said!  
  
*Yugo and Ally appear on a boat, coming up from behind. Yugo is paddling like mad in the back.*  
  
Revived Narrator: Whew, thank goodness.  
  
Narrator II: What do you mean? ALICE IS GOING TO TRY TO STOP THE KENIKO!  
  
Revived Narrator: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE KENIKO! It was getting just plain weird...  
  
Narrator: Weird? WEIRD?!?!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S A BLOODY ROAR FAN-FICTION YOU LUNATIC! IT IS WEIRD IN THE FIRST PLACE! *punch*  
  
Revived Narrator: x_O ...........Ow. Well I mean, Kenji started kissing an overgrown cat.... just plain weird!  
  
Narrator II: What more do you want??  
  
Revived Narrator: A plot point? An action scene? A blown-up car????  
  
All: -_-  
  
Yugo: You know, Bun-bun, this is kind of romantic! *makes 'woof'ing noise*  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Yugo: Oww....  
  
Alice: URIKO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH KENJI?!  
  
Narrator II: Look, Alice, I don't think you want to do that. Keniko is one of the most cherished moments among the Bloody Roar fans.  
  
Alice: Ke..Keniko? Wha?  
  
Narrator II: Keniko symbolizes their relationship. Everybody loves it. Oh, and if you break them up, Hudson will charge you... *brings out calculator*....$4,506,293,920 and... twenty-three cents. Oh, and about forty-thousand angry fans will personally murder you.  
  
Alice: Oh. o_o' Um.. carry on then!  
  
Uriko: *back to normal* You know what, thanks to all of you, now the moment is ruined! So it doesn't matter, anyways! Come with me, Kenji, we shall go somewhere else!  
  
Kenji: Erm.... Okay.  
  
Revived Narrator: I HEARD THAT!  
  
Kenji: O_O  
  
*They have just reached the end of the ride and both of them get off. Yugo comes up to give Alice a kiss when she isn't looking, but ends up with nothing but air and falls from the boat. She had already gotten off.*  
  
Narrator II: *as the screen fades* OH! One more thing! I have personally seen to it that Cronos is kicked off the cast, immediat- huh? Where did everybody go? Hey, guys, um... com'on you guys! Hey wait up for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!  
  
-----  
Well? what do you think? Too much narrator action, maybe? Ah heck, ya gotta love them Narrators! Well, 'til next time.... byebye! More to come! 


	3. Chapter Three: Kicking Cronos's ### and ...

Chapter Three: The strange.. dark......maze. MAZE?!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Too lazy to keep writing it. Visit previous chapters for disclaimer junk. Hey, every fanfic has the same diclaimer anyways, just assume that for every fanfic, since OBVIOUSLY nobody writing these fics owns these characters (except made up ones) so.. well sometimes the system is just dumb!  
  
INSPIRATION: Why didn't I put this before?? Ramza Lionheart and Tiger913, of course! Thank you for writing the stuff you have, you two! Once I read those fics I decided I wanted to do one. Your fics got me hooked into the BR fic world!!  
  
---  
  
Narrator II: Sorry about the last chapter guys. The old narrator really was getting on my nerves, too. He's gone off to go bug Uriko in some other fic for right now. Let's hope he doesn't return! Anyhow, our heroes step off their boats and walk up the steps into... into the entrance to a maze?! Will the craziness ever end? Will Uriko and Kenji ever be *alone*? Will... will I ever shut up! Who knows! Well, let's just see what happens now...  
  
Kenji: Oh... no.... not.. a maze....  
  
Alice: ACK. I HATE those things. Anyways, what kind of arcade is this? Tunnel of Love? An extremely large maze? I'm sorry, it's just been bugging me.  
  
Uriko: Read the title! It's the 'arcade to end all', remember? ^_^  
  
Yugo: Do you think there is like, some cheese in the end of it?  
  
All: -_-'  
  
Yugo: Whaaat?  
  
Kenji: Well look, let's get started...  
  
Booming Voice That Comes From No Where: NOT SO FAST.  
  
*Uriko is startled so much, she nearly jumps into Kenji's arms*  
  
Uriko: W-w-w-ho's there.....?  
  
Booming Voice That Comes From No Where: It is I, the Booming Voice That Comes From No Where!  
  
Alice: That doesn't help us very much...  
  
BVTCFNW: Hey, why did you abbreviate my name? I am the Booming Voice That Comes From No Where, not BVTCFNW!!!!!!!!  
  
Narrator II: -_-  
  
Uriko: Well let's go, people! I don't want to be stuck here all night!  
  
Kenji: Yeah, I agree with Riko.. let's move.  
  
BVTCFNW: Not so fast. You will have to pass a small test...  
  
Alice: We're ALREADY passing a test! That maze doesn't look easy!  
  
BVTCFNW: QUIET, YOU.  
  
Alice: o_o  
  
BVTCFNW: Anywho, let's get started! First, everyone please deposit a quarter into the provided slot!  
  
*everyone looks around the small room, and no slot is to be found.*  
  
BVTCFNW: Uh.... oops! Well, nevermind that then... *(under breath) heh heh.... oh well...*.... In that case, you will face a REAL test!  
  
Kenji: 'Real' test? Whaddaya mean, 'real' test!?  
  
BVTCFNW: Now.... FIGHT!  
  
*POOF*  
  
Narrator II: I don't believe it! It's Sir Anal Reten- errr, Cronos! Um... where did he come from?  
  
Cronos: Wha...? Where am I? How did I...? Oh, it's you again! You... bloody peasant! Now is the time where I shall reclaim my beloved Uriko!!  
  
BVTCFNW: I found him over by the Gauntlet machine with some fat guy. And this is just for ONLY ONE of you.... who shall fight him?  
  
Kenji: OH OH! ME! I'LL FIGHT THIS BASTARD!  
  
BVTCFNW: Very well then. *creates a barrier around the two so that nobody can interfere*  
  
Cronos: What's going on?? This must be the strangest place I have ever been... hmm... well I certainly enjoy the chance to defeat you and claim my prize, Madam Uriko! Are you prepared, peasant?  
  
Kenji: Ready as I'll ever be. I've been waiting for a chance to kick your ass ever since I met you... *wry grin..*  
  
BVTCFNW: FIGHT!  
  
*Kenji and Cronos are facing each other, each with a look of pure fury in their eyes.. They dash at each other. Cronos starts throwing a bunch of kicks at Kenji, which he dodges easily. One hits him by accident..*  
  
Kenji: Wait a second... what am I dodging for? That didn't hurt at all!  
  
Cronos: *continues fighting*  
  
Kenji: What a loser!!! *transforms into his mole form*  
  
*Kenji, in one quick strike, mauls Cronos to the ground. He then kicks him against the wall of the bubble, which he bounces off of... he gets thrown back into Kenji. Kenji utilizes his chance to once again kick Cronos.*  
  
Cronos: Ow!  
  
*boing!*  
  
*KICK*  
  
Cronos: Ow!  
  
*boing!*  
  
*KICK*  
  
Cronos: Ow!  
  
*boing!*  
  
*KICK*  
  
Cronos: Ow! OK OK! Enough of this nonsense! You shall feel the wrath of my terrifying beast-form! Gwahahahahaha!  
  
BVTCFNW:I've got to see THIS.  
  
Cronos: Grrr...... *transforms... and is engulfed in white light....*  
  
All (including Narrator II and BVTCFNW):.....  
  
*All burst out into laughter*  
  
BVTCFNW: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my lord! I have never.... laughed... so hard... in my.. entire.... existance! HAHAHA.............. *chokes himself laughing*...*continues laughing*  
  
Cronos: *squawk* What? *waddles around in a small circle with stubby penguin arms raised up..* What is it that is so funny? Is it-OOF!  
  
*Kenji returns to his cycle of kicking Cronos against the wall of the bubble. This time, though, it's much easier, seeing as.. he's so... so damn scrawny!*  
  
Uriko: This is more entertaining than most shows on TV.  
  
Alice: I'd have to agree..  
  
Yugo: Hey! It's not better than.... the Captain Wallace Wallaby show! I LOVE that show.  
  
Uri + Ally: -_-'....  
  
Yugo: Whaaat? That's a good show!  
  
Narrator II: Weirdo. Anyways, let's see how Kenji is doing...  
  
*KICK*  
  
*BOING*  
  
*SQUAWK*  
  
*KICK*  
  
*BOING*  
  
*SQUAWK*  
  
*KICK*  
  
*BOING*  
  
*SQUAWK*  
  
*Cronos finally falls the floor and returns to human form... Kenji shifts back to human as well.*  
  
Cronos: *huff* I...*wheeze*...lost...  
  
Cronos: *Thinking to self*: Hmm.. I still have... yes! I still have that sword I won with my game tickets!  
  
*Kenji walks over to the defeated Cronos..*  
  
Kenji: Had enough, you bastard?  
  
Cronos:...  
  
Kenji: What, speech-less?  
  
Cronos *thinking to self*: NOW!  
  
*Cronos jumps up, and pulls out a sword. It begins to glow..*  
  
Kenji: Where did you get that?!  
  
Cronos: I will never tell! *goes to slash Kenji with it, when Kenji jums out of the way... and runs along the wall of the bubble, ending up behind Cronos. Kenji grabs the sword from him.*  
  
Kenji: Got ya' now!  
  
Cronos: No! No!!!!!!!! NOO!!!!!!  
  
*Kenji slashes off Cronos's arm.*  
  
Cronos: I'll never give up!  
  
Kenji: What? Your arm's off!  
  
Cronos: No, it isn't!  
  
Kenji: ??? What's THAT then?  
  
Cronos: It's just a flesh wound!  
  
Kenji: Whatever.. *transforms back into a mole and slashes Cronos to utter pieces. The bubble fades away.*  
  
Uriko: Kenji! Yay! You did it!  
  
(A/N: Now, come on. Everybody HAD to recognize the Monty Python and the Holy Grail refrence there... hehe... 'It's just a flesh wound!" lol!)  
  
BVTCFNW: Wow. Well, whatever. Go on through. *goes back to sleep*  
  
Alice: Niec job, Kenji! Now let's ge through this maze...  
  
***---...---***---...---***---...--***  
  
In the maze....  
  
  
Yugo: There's two ways out of this room!  
  
Uriko: Well, me and Kenji will go one way, and you and Alice can go the other way! Bye! *runs off with Kenji*  
  
Alice: O_O  
  
Yugo: Whatever. Let's just go. Oh and hey, maybe before we go, you can give me a good-luck kiss!  
  
Alice: FINE. *smooch*  
  
Yugo: WOOHOO! Hey, how about another?  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Yugo: Ow...  
  
Alice: Let's just go!  
  
Narrator II: Hmm.. let's see how Uriko and Kenji are faring...  
  
Kenji: Uriko! Where did you go?? I looked down for one second and- *gasp*...  
  
Off in the distance, Kenji sees Uriko... and.. Cronos?!?!? HOLDING HANDS?!?!?  
  
Kenji: OH MY GOD!?!? WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?!?!?!?! *runs as fast as he can towards them.*...............OOF! *runs into the wall*...Where did they..go?  
  
Narrator II: What the..?? Why is Cronos still alive?? Hmm... let's check on Uriko..  
  
Uriko: Kenji!!! KENNNNNNNJIIIIIII!!! Where are you...? I'm... lost..................*sniffle*  
  
Uriko looks off down a long hallway... and sees.... Kenji and Uranus....??? HOLDING HANDS?!?!?!?  
  
Uriko: URANUS??!? YOU WHORE!!!!! GET AWAY FROM MY KENJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Uriko runs as fast as possible towards the two... when she....* OOF! *...runs into the wall....*  
  
Narrator II: Don't ask me. Imay be the Narrator, but I have NO idea what's going on here. In any event... the two confused teenagers begin wandering the hallways, searching for their lost loves... what's up with Alice and Yugo..?  
  
Alice: OK.. I'll admit it. You ARE cute when you say dumb stuff. Which is... alot.  
  
Yugo: Of course I am, I- HEY! Grrr....oh and... Ally... this way.  
  
Alice: OK... well look. when we get out of here.... would you like to..  
  
Yugo: Go on a date?? Why, of course I would!  
  
Alice: -_-  
  
*Yugo puts his hand on Alice's shoulder, and smiles.*  
  
*Alice turns around to face him... and gives a small smile back..*  
  
Alice: Sure... I'll go on a date with you... ^_~  
  
Yugo *thinking to self*: YES!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!   
  
Narrator II: Heh, lucky Yugo. Anyways, let's once again see how Riko and Kenji are doing..  
  
*The two stumble into the same room from diffrent hallways... both bawling their eyes out... not looking where they are going and are about to.....*  
  
*CRASH*  
  
Kenji: Hey! Watch where you're- *looks up*  
  
Uriko: Same to you! Why I outta- *looks up*  
  
Kenji: RIKO!  
  
Uriko: KENJI!  
  
Kenji: You're not... you're not hanging out with Cronos?  
  
Uriko: And you're not with Uranus?  
  
Kenji and Uriko, in unison: What are you talking about?!?!?  
  
Narrator II: The two start laughing and hugging and... hey wait! There's the exit! And... Yugo and Alice?  
  
*Yugo and Alice are making out, sitting on the floor behind Uriko and Kenji*  
  
Uriko and Kenji: WOULD YOU TWO GROW UP!?  
  
Narrator II: Hehe... anyways.... they are out of the maze. All four begin to walk out of the exit, only to find themselves..... in Las Vegas?!?!?!? What the heck is up with this fic, anyways? First an arcade, then a tunnel of love, then a maze, and now... LAS VEGAS??? Well, that's all for now, folks! Tune in next time for, Zoanthropes: The Las Vegas Edition!!!!  
-----  
  
Well, how is it??? R&R!! I was so worried about this chapter being dumb and pointless, but I think it turned out OK!! Did you like seeing Cronos get his royal-ass kicked? Oh and by the way... those were hallucinations, trust me. Uranus and Cronos were NOT screwing up the Keniko. The BVTCFNW doesn't mind playing a few jokes once in awhile! Byebye guys! 


	4. Chapter Four: Zoanthropes: Las Vegas Edi...

CHAPTER FOUR: The Vegas Adventure  
  
DISCLAIMER: Aeris is a property of Square. All others (except for narrators and ones made up solely for the purpose of this fic) are property of Hudson and subsidaries responsible for creating the Bloody Roar series.  
  
NOTES: Well, so far, what do you guys think??? I do realize that every chapter it gets wackier and wackier. As for this installment, it will be taking place in Las Vegas. Do NOT ask me how they got to Las Vegas... I really don't know. You see, (and I am just making this up off the top of my head to rationalize the wackiness) some intergalactic force is causing our heroes to be transported to basically random locations around the world for some dumb reason! Why? They are aliens, how would I know?! What they want is none of my business. Well, anyways... ignore what I just said right there. There are no aliens in this fic. But that could be an idea... hmm.... well if you really want to know I am making this whole thing up as I go along. In any future fics I do, I want to at least have a few mostly serious ones which I WILL plan out.. but for my first fic, a wacky comedy, I wanted to just go crazy and come up with random stuff and weird refrences. Well, enjoy!!! And thank you (x99999) to those who have given me your praise via reviews! It makes me feel very special and loved. OK, maybe not. But it DOES inspire me to finish this fic. Now, on with the show!  
  
---  
  
Narrator II: It seems the maze led to..... it led to Las Vegas? How is that possible? How? HOW?!?! SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE #### IS UP WITH THIS FIC??!?!?  
  
Author: Read what I put just above. It says 'Notes'.  
  
Narrator II: Fine... *reads*...you're making it all up off the top of your head?  
  
Author: Correct.  
  
Narrator II: Does this mean at any moment, I could just disap- *FWISH*  
  
*Narrator II disappears.*  
  
Author: Yes. Anyhow, our heroes have now ended up in Las Vegas.  
  
Alice: How do we know we are in Las Vegas? Or don't we?  
  
Author: No, you do.  
  
Kenji: Look... above...  
  
Author: Yes, thank you Kenji. There is a sign above your head, that says 'Las Vegas'.  
  
Alice: Oh.  
  
Yugo: Does this mean we get to gamble?  
  
Author: No.  
  
Yugo: Why not?  
  
Author: Because.  
  
Yugo: Why?  
  
Author: Because!!  
  
Yugo: But whhhyyyyyy??  
  
Author: Because!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yugo: BUT WHHHHYYYYYYYY???  
  
Author: I ALREADY TOLD YOU YOU DUMBASS MUTT! B-e-a-c-a-u-s-e!  
  
Yugo: *whimper*.........what does that spell..?  
  
All: -_-'  
  
Author: Now on with the fic! You four walk out of the maze, onto the busy streets of Las Vegas. There are casinos up and down the streets, flashing their brilliant lights in your eyes. And then-  
  
*FWISH*  
  
Revived Narrator: I'm back! Boy, screwing up people's fics is fun! Hey... where did Narrator II go?  
  
Author: Hey, R.N.. Oh, hey, you gonna stick around for awhile?  
  
Revived Narrator: Yeah, why?  
  
*Uriko and Kenji are staring at the R.N., their eyes burning with fury..*  
  
Author: Oh.. no reason...  
  
Revived Narrator: !!!  
  
*Uriko and Kenji both transform.. and get prepared to do a double-team beast-drive on R.N.*  
  
Revived Narrator: Uh... I umm..... OH!!! Look! It's Aeris! She's alive I tell you! Behind you! Look! LOOK! No, really! I'm.... erm... I'm really.... I'm telling you the.... ehehehe... hey guys... how's it... how's it goin'? Ya wanna grab a bite to eat or something?  
  
*Uriko and Kenji's glaze doesn't shift. Alice and Yugo, however, both start looking around for Aeris.*  
  
Yugo: AEEERIS!!! Where are you???  
  
Alice: Mr. Narrator, where did you say Aeris was?  
  
Author: -_-  
  
*The two enraged zoanthropes leapt into the air..... came straight down... right on top of R.N.....*  
  
Uriko: YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!  
  
Kenji: YOU WILL PAY FOR- erm.... DITTO!  
  
In a last attempt at survival....  
  
Revived Narrator: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!  
  
Author: Excuse me but... what the hell?  
  
*Uriko and Kenji are unphased. As they come down on R.N., he is surrounded by thousands of slashes....*  
  
Author: And as you can see, Uriko and Kenji's Slice and Dice Machine perfectly chops your food into billions of tiny pieces in just seconds!  
  
All: -_-  
  
*R.N. is in a heap on the floor..*  
  
Yugo: *Whispering to Alice..* Pssst....come with me.. I said I'd take you on a date, remember...? =)  
  
Author: Call now.. 1-800-548-239......hehe... erm... O_O  
  
*All are staring at him.*  
  
Author: Well a guy's gotta eat... ehehe...  
  
*Kenji and Uriko transform back.. and Kenji whistles.*  
  
Kenji: Here, guys!  
  
*A bunch of dogs come down the sidewalk and start devouring the pieces that WERE R.N.*  
  
Author: Well, anyways.. like I was saying.. where's Yugo? Another thing.. where's Alice?!  
  
*FWISH*  
  
*Narrator II re-appears*  
  
Narrator II: -pear?  
  
All: -_-'  
  
------------In the resteraunt that Yugo had taken Alice....------------------------  
  
Yugo: So, what do you think?  
  
Alice: Of this resteraunt? It's beautiful!  
  
Yugo: No. I meant, do you think we should go get married and have children right away?  
  
Alice: -_-  
  
Yugo: Well?  
  
Alice: Erm....  
  
*A waiter approaches.*  
  
Yugo: Ah, yes.. I'll have the.... hey Narrator II.. what do wolves eat?  
  
Narrator II: Rabbits, I guess.  
  
Yugo: Ah, OK, thanks! Sir, I will have the rabbit dish.  
  
Alice: SAY WHAT!?!?!?  
  
Yugo: What's wrong? All I said was, 'I'm having the rabbit dish.'  
  
Alice: Grrrrrrrr....... *storms off into the restroom..*  
  
Yugo: What's up with her..? Well, anyways, that's what I'll be having. Get my girlfreind.... *thinks*... a corndog. She loves those. *thinks to self* Or does she? Oh well.  
  
Waiter: *Confused look.* Erm... alright.   
  
*Waiter leaves*  
  
*Kenji, Uriko, and the Author storm in.*  
  
Kenji, Uriko: YUGO!  
  
Author: Yugo! You wern't supposed to be taking Alice off on a date! I have other plans for you... grrrr....*throws down the script and walks back outside, furious.*  
  
Yugo: ???  
  
Kenji: Where did Alice go?  
  
Yugo: I dunno. She got mad for no reason and went off into the bathroom.  
  
Urko: I'll go get her...  
  
-------------------In the Women's Restroom...--------------------------  
  
Uriko: Alice! What's wrong??  
  
Alice: Nothing.. it's just.... how could he be so insensitive? *sniffle*  
  
Uriiko: Who.. Yugo?  
  
Alice: Nevermind...*sniffle*  
  
Uriko: Come on, Sis.. we might as well just go eat dinner. I had Kenji order for me.  
  
Alice: Alright..  
  
-----------------Back at the table....---------------------------------------------  
  
Kenji: Me and Uriko will be having pizza!  
  
Waiter: *puzzled again.*.... well.. alright....  
  
*Waiter again leaves*  
  
Yugo: Hey, Kenji... after we eat, do you want to go gambling?  
  
Kenji: Gambling? Ummmm... sure. What about the Author??  
  
Yugo: He's gone now, remember?  
  
Kenji: Oh. OK.  
  
Yugo: Hmm... well this waiter is taking WAY too long. *looks at watch.. it's only three minutes since the waiter left.* Let's go now!  
  
Kenji: But.. Uriko...?  
  
*Yugo grabs Kenji's arm and drags him out of the resteraunt.*  
  
*Alice and Uriko come up to the table, just as the waiter brings the food.*  
  
Alice: What's this?!?  
  
Waiter: A corndog.  
  
Uriko: Pizza??!? And where did my Kenji go???  
  
Narrator II: I dunno.  
  
Alice and Uriko: Grrrrr.............   
  
*both run out the door*  
  
Waiter: But... wait! Come back! You need to pay! Agh.... hey... how about YOU pay?  
  
Narrator II: Me?  
  
Waiter: Yes.  
  
Narrator II: No way. I'm broke. The dang author is such a cheap-skate! Well, I should be off now... buh bye!  
  
Waiter: O_O  
  
-----------------------Outside....----------------------------------------------------  
  
Yugo: Where should we go?  
  
Kenji: I dunno.  
  
*The two see Aeris coming up to them.*  
  
Aeris: Excuse me.. but do you two know where-  
  
Kenji and Yugo: AERIS!  
  
Aeris: W-w-what?  
  
Kenji and Yugo:....you're alive!  
  
Aeris: Should I be excited about this...?  
  
*Alice and Uriko come into the scene.*  
  
Alice and Uriko: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING WITH THAT FLOOZY!?  
  
Aeris: EXCUSE ME?  
  
Alice and Uriko: o_o'  
  
Uriko: Uhm..... hehe... never......mind....Ms. Aeris...  
  
*Aeris casts Ultima on Uriko and Alice.*  
  
*rumble*  
  
*rumble*  
  
*BOOM!!!!*  
  
Aeris:...the nerve..!  
  
*Aeris walks into a stretch limo that pulls up. It drives away.*  
  
Yugo: Alice, are you OK????  
  
Alice: Maybe...O_O  
  
*Kenji runs over to Uriko, lying on the ground.*  
  
Kenji: Uriko... are you okay?  
  
Uriko:....  
  
Kenji: Oh... Uriko!!!! Please say something! *brings Uriko into his arms..*  
  
Uriko:....now I am! =)  
  
Kenji: You're OK!  
  
*The two hug as the scene fades out.*  
  
-------------------------In a casino....-------------------------------------------------  
  
*The screen fades in on the Author, playing a slot machine.*  
  
Man sitting next to Author: So, why are you here all by your lonesome?  
  
Author: Eh.... I just got sort of pissed off.. that's all.... dammit! *the slot machine nearly gives him the jackpot.. but barely misses.*  
  
Man: Yeah.. I know what you mean......  
  
*Fades out... for good.*  
  
-----------  
  
I think it's decided: Chapter Five will be the very last one... maybe. I don't know. What will the subject be, you ask? What wacky place will I take them to this time? I don't know! *slot machine eats another nickel* Dammit!  
  
And of course, I had the obligitory Aeris refrence. One other, too.... see if you can guess what it is! Go to this website: http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/story.shtml if you still can't figure it out.  
  
Also, apologies to Tiger5913!!! I accidently forgot that she already used the 'booming voice' concept in her BR Christmas fic.. O_O 


	5. Chapter Five: The Final Frontier

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FINAL CHAPTER  
  
DISCLAIMER: All characters appearing in Bloody Roar are the property of Hudson. Other characters are the respective properties of their owners. Other characters... I can do whatever the heck I want with 'em, cuz they're mine =)  
  
Well well well... the final chapter.. I'm going to miss doing this fic now.. hehe... this will be the 5th day in a row I write a chapter for it. Anyways, I just came up with a kick-ASS storyline for a serious fic in an alternate universe, but with the underlying Zoanthrope concept... totally original characters and plotline.. unfortunately for alot of you, that means no Keniko, but don't worry, one of my characters IS going to be a cat-girl... who DOES find herself in a relationship with someone who can turn into a wolf =). Anyways, it's going to be set in a world where not many people know about the ones who can turn into animals. I am NOT going to be using the word zoanthrope here, because it IS supposed to be all-original, besides the people-who-can-turn-into-beasts type thing going on. There are VERY few of these people, and they do not have that good of an idea just what exactly they are.... but it will also involve some other evil characters who are up to no good! The storyline I have come up with is somewhat complex, but at least it won't be overly simplified, just focusing on ONE character's plot. It will focus on the events surrounding quite a few diffrent people... all connected... well, anyways! Here is the final chapter of Game-Land: the boss and where each cahracter finds him/herself post-beating the 'game'! To many people's dismay, the final boss will NOT be Cronos.. It will NOT be Uranus... it will NOT be Xion... no no.... just see for yourselves...  
  
-------------------  
  
Narrator II: With the Author still gambling away his infomercial profits at the casino... we see three men in white haz-mat suits walk into the room.  
  
Author: GRRRR!!! I swear... these things are rigged... huh? Who are you?  
  
Man in Haz-Mat Suit: We are from Gambler's Anonymous. I see that you have a problem.  
  
Author: No, I don't!  
  
Man in Haz-Mat Suit: Of course you don't. That's why you need to come with me.  
  
Author: I thought G.A. was for people who could at least admit that they even HAD a problem? Since when was it OBLIGITORY?  
  
Man in Haz-Mat Suit II: We were losing membership... so we've been out looking for people addicted to gambling. Big Sister's orders.  
  
Man in Haz-Mat III: Ah yes..... Big Sister is watching us all. Especially you.  
  
Author: ?!?!  
  
*They drag him away, while he kicks and screams.*  
  
-----------------  
  
Author II: Welcome, all, I am the author:  
  
Narrator II: No, you arn't.  
  
Author II: Well, then you arn't the Narrator, then, are you?  
  
Narrator II: Good point.  
  
Author II: You see, the REAL Author got locked up in a Gambler's Anonymous holding cell. He also used up all his profits at the casino, and I carried a cheap price. Thus, I am the new Author.  
  
Narrator II: Whatever... just as long as you will include Keniko.  
  
Author II: Ah, yes, Keniko. If that is your wish. Anyways, since I am assuming this is the last chapter, we will have the heroes fight the final boss.  
  
Narrator II: Final boss? Who is it?  
  
Author II: You arn't going to believe me if I told you.  
  
Narrator II: Come on! Of course I will!  
  
*Author II whispers into Narrator II's ear.*  
  
*Narrator II almost falls over laughing.*  
  
Author II: The setting will be..... South Park.  
  
Narrator II: Why?  
  
Author II: SHUT UP, FOOL! I am the Author, here! ACTION!  
  
-----------------  
  
*Alice, Yugo, Kenji, and Uriko all suddenly appear.... in a snow-covered field, with mountains off in the distance... but something is horribly wrong.*  
  
Alice: What the..?  
  
Yugo: Cool! I'm only 2D!  
  
Kenji: Where are we?  
  
Uriko: I... I don't...know......hey! Wait! This must be South Park! Look at that sign over there!  
  
*Sure enough, everyone looks over to the right to see a wooden sign with "SOUTH PARK" written on it.*  
  
Yugo: What are we supposed to do now???  
  
???: I think I can answer that question...  
  
*A hooded figure comes up from behind them.... very tall.. very mysterious.. and very.. fat?*  
  
???: I am the final boss.  
  
*Uriko sneaks behind him.. and gets ready to yank off his cloak.*  
  
???: Do you dare fight me? My power is- HEY! What the..? Who took my cloak off???  
  
*Uriko had just ripped off his covering.... what they all saw... was indescribable....*  
  
Author II: Ah, yes.. the final boss... It is someone feared by many....  
  
Narrator II: A horrid man.. who deals in the dismemberment of children, and brainwashing of preschool kids...  
  
Author II: He's......  
  
All: BARNEY!?!?!?  
  
*Everyone's face is filled with a look of utter terror.*  
  
Barney: Hi, everybody!  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Barney: Dammit! Why does that scare everyone?!?!  
  
Kenji: You're... you're Barney? Our final boss?  
  
Uriko: Kenji..... please... protect me from that.... that THING.  
  
Yugo: Hey, I know you! You had that TV show!  
  
Alice/Kenji/Uriko: -_-  
  
Barney: The show? Heh... you haven't seen NOTHIN' yet. Damn those kids... I told the executives, 'Arn't these kids a bit too old to be playing with an imaganary dinosaur?' 'No....' they said... 'No, we're trying to reach our demographic of 10 to 18 year olds with this show.'. Damn those execs... ruined my life... my reputation... well, now it's time for someone to play!! I mean... err... PAY!  
  
Alice: What did WE do?  
  
Barney: Errr..... I don't.... know....  
  
*Barney goes into a flashback sequence*  
  
Barney: Oh no! Somebody set up us the bomb !!  
  
Kid: Hey, Barney, Mr. Rabbit wanted to play with the dynamite!  
  
Barney: What you say !!  
  
Kid II: You're funny, Barney! Heehee!  
  
*BOOM!!!*  
  
*Fading back into reality... I mean..err... South Park.*  
  
Barney: Ever since that day.. I've wanted to get rid of all rabbits....  
  
Alice: How did you know I was a rabbit?  
  
Barney: I'm not a TOTAL idiot, ya know. Unlike HIM. *jerks thumb at Yugo*  
  
Yugo: Whaaat???  
  
Barney: Well, look, the point is, I'm going to have to fight one of you.  
  
Yugo: If you are after my girl, then I shall be the one to fight you!  
  
Barney: Very well then! PREPARE TO DIIIIIEEE!!!!!!  
  
Narrator II: Oh no... we are doomed....  
  
*Yugo immediately transforms into a wolf, fueled by the anger he felt from years of being forced to watch Barney by wayward babysitters... Barney pulled back his arm... Yugo ran up to Barney and got ready to bite when Barney released his punch, right into Yugo's face.*  
  
Uriko: Ouch..  
  
Alice: Oh!! Yugo!!! That bastard dinosaur better not hurt my wolfie... -_-  
  
*Yugo regroups and devlivers a low kick to Barney's legs, tripping him. Barney is then left lying on the ground, wide open... Yugo seizes this opportunity to slash the heck out of his back. After a few hits, Barney leaps back up, slightly knocking Yugo off-balance.*  
  
Barney: Feel the power of my... HAPPY SUNSHINE RAY!!!!  
  
*Barney begins to glow.... his stomach has begun to emit very bright light...*  
  
Kenji: It's like the sun!  
  
Barney: Well, DUH. It's called happy sunshine ray, idiot.  
  
Yugo: So um... what does it DO?  
  
Barney: .........it makes your eyes hurt......and um......um....uh...  
  
All:.......  
  
*Yugo covers his eyes and delivers a final kick to the glowing stomach of Barney. Barney falls to the ground... and doesn't get back up. Yugo shifts back to normal.*  
  
Stan: OH MY GOD!!! YOU KILLED BARNEY!  
  
Kyle: You bastard!  
  
*Two small children come up to the group of Zoanthropes.*  
  
Kenji: Who are you?  
  
Kyle:I'm Kyle, and this is Stan. We are characters on South Park. Who the #### are you?  
  
Yugo: That kid called me a bastard! Grr.... *transforms back into a wolf.*  
  
Stan/Kyle: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Stan: Uh... Kyle.. I think that Terrance and Philip is on.. or... something....  
  
Kyle: Uh... yeah! Um.... nice meeting you..guys.... bye! *runs off*  
  
All: O_O  
  
Author II: Bravo! Nicely done! You've defeated the boss! Now I will tell everyone how your lives continue after this life-altering event.  
  
Uriko: Life altering??  
  
Author II: Yes.  
  
Uriko: -_-  
  
Yugo:...I almost forgot! *Takes some sort of ball out of his pocket*  
  
Kenji: What are you doing?  
  
Yugo: Pokeball, GO!! *He throws a Pokeball at Barney.*  
  
*Barney somehow squishes inside the ball.*  
  
Yugo: Yeah!!!!!!!! I CAUGHT A BARNEY!!!  
  
Uriko: Whatever. Anyways, Kenji, now we can go home!  
  
Kenji: Yeah! Well... I had fun...  
  
Uriko: Me too.....  
  
*Both smile at each other*  
  
Both: I love you!!!!!!!  
  
*They run into each other's arms and begin kissing as the screen fades to black.*  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Author II: Want to know where they are now, eh? Here you go. Keep in mind, it cost me an arm and a leg just to compensate for the lawsuit filed by Comedy Central for using their characters, so if they seem a bit short, well... deal with it.  
  
Uriko  
---------------------  
Uriko spends her days training, playing around with balls of yarn.... and dating Kenji. She also has a love of video games, as does Kenji, but vows to never again visit Game-Land. Recently auditioned for a Fancy-Feast commercial.  
"Meow!" -Uriko  
  
Kenji  
--------------------  
Continues to love the heck outta Uriko. Recently, Kenji and Uriko have been seeing each other a bit more often, now that Alice knows she will be maimed to death by thousands of people if she stops the 'Keniko' moments. Kenji has started a fan-club for cats, as well. It currently includes two members. He has also resolved to watch more 'South Park' and learn more about the strange ways of its characters, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman. Kenji's favorite is.....currently none of them. The show confuses him to this day.  
"What in the HECK is a salisbury steak??" -Kenji   
  
Alice  
--------------------  
Alice went back to work at the hospital, but every now and then, she goes out with Yugo on a date. One night, as a joke, she came home wearing a big, red hood (one that you could say would be used for riding). Yugo didn't get it, of course. Still gets mistaken as the Easter Bunny, but carries around a small amount of candy to give out, just in case (those kids can be vicious). Alice also made Yugo vow to never again order cooked rabbit at a resteraunt.  
"NO, GODAMMIT, I'M NOT THE FREAKIN' EASTER BUNNY!!!!!" -Alice  
  
Yugo  
-------------------  
Yugo is still as clueless as ever, but enjoying every moment of it. His favorite phrase is, 'Ignorance is bliss', however, he has no idea what it's supposed to mean. Oh well. He has been seen traveling accross the country side, finding random people and asking them if they want to battle. If any of them ever say yes, he plans to use his new Pokemon, Barney, against them and defeat them all. Only then will he earn his Super-Cool-Treehouse badge.  
"Go, Barney! Use Happy Sunshine Rays attack!" -Yugo  
  
Cronos  
-----------------  
Cronos was revived by Author II. Why, do you ask? Well, when he was revived, Author II placed him in a cell filled with 25 hungry tigers. Ouch.  
"Erm....eep?" -Cronos  
  
Ganesha  
-----------------  
Ganesha now considers slang normal. To this day, nobody knows where he learned to talk like that.  
"Yo, wassup my homies?" -Ganesha  
  
Author  
----------------  
The Author is in a mental institution, code named: Gamblers Anonymous. He spends every day now in a padded white room, being told by people over and over that gambling ruins your life. So does being stuck in a white padded room, I suppose.  
"OK!!!!!! I'LL NEVER ####ING GAMBLE EVER AGAIN!!!! HAPPY NOW?!?!" -Author  
  
Author II  
---------------  
This great man recieved a large sum of money for having Yugo get rid of Barney. He ended up paying it all away in a settlement with Comedy Central. He visits his old buddy, Author, every once in awhile.  
"Yes... of COOOURSE you're not a compulsive gambler.... *wink*... just keep telling yourself that, and I'm sure that soon they'll let you out." -Author II  
  
Revived Narrator  
---------------  
The remains of this narrator have been 'recycled', so to speak, and are now part of the earth. His soul has joined the 'Lifestream', and he's begun to go out with Aeris. Cloud still doesn't know.  
"Hey, arn't you that dead babe?" -Revived Narrator  
  
Narrator II  
---------------  
Narrator II went off to write his own Keniko fics. 'Nuff said.  
"*writes* And then, Kenji gave Uriko a big hug! *puts pencil down*" -Narrator II  
  
The BVTCFNW  
-----------------  
The Booming Voice That Comes From No Where simply disap- *FWISH* *BVTCFNW disappears*  
"No, Author II, no! Don't make me disap- *FWISH*" -BVTCFNW  
  
---  
  
That should be about it.... and now, it is I, the REAL author, DraconumPB, thanking you for reading this fic! It's surely been fun! I REALLY hope you guys check out what I'm going to be doing soon in terms of fics.. I'm moving on to some serious stuff now.... well that's about all I have to say! Major thanks go to my reviewers, who gave me reason to write this in the first place, and Tiger5913 and Ramza Lionheart who wwrote fics that got me really hooked on BR humor.  
  
Goodbye for now, everyone!!! 


	6. THE FORGOTTEN CHAPTER: The Axis of Evil

THE LOST CHPATER: THE AXIS OF EVIL!!  
  
OK, so I lied. This comes from many suggestions from my freinds at school.... if you remember, there was a Saturday Night Live skit based on President Bush's Axis of Evil speech, where he outlined various countries and people that were part of the 'Axis of Evil'. The SNL skit was something I didn't happen to see myself, but I heard about it. Anyways, it only seems natural that the Axis of Evil is something that needs to be defeated, and who would be better for the job than our heroes? Author I finally gets out of the clutches of the evil Gambler's Anonymous... just to kick out Author II and take back control of the fic!!!  
  
----  
  
Narrator II: The setting is in someone's living room..... the TV is blaring... and a figure is sitting on the couch. Hey... that's Author II !!!  
  
Author II: Ahh... finally done.. now I can sit back and relax...  
  
*The front door swings open quickly, and a figure in a straight jacket stumbles in. He rips off the jacket.*  
  
Author: *Huff* I... made it out.....*wheeze* .....alive.....  
  
Author II: !!!!!!!  
  
Author: I saw how you let my characters off easy.  
  
Author II: I don't know what you're talking about!  
  
Author: Oh, don't be so dumb. There's still work to do. And.. YOU'RE FIRED.  
  
Author II: !!!!  
  
Author: That's right. Now... GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!  
  
Author II: Aww....... *sigh*.... well... I guess I'll be seein' ya' then...?  
  
Author: No, you won't. GO!  
  
Author II: =( ........  
  
------------------------------------  
  
President Bush: Hello, my fellow people from America. Now, for those of you that don't know, the people we are after all reside in a group I like to call, the 'Axis of Evil'. These are people so evil, they make people cringe when I say their names. I have figured that these bad people have been conspiring together. They are most likely plotting to eliminate saturday morning cartoons, and that's something I definately don't want to happen. If it does, I might just cry. And you don't want to hear me cry. Now, of course, the former leader of the 'Axis of Evil' has just been killed. The remaining members of this terrible faction, however, include but are not limited to:  
  
Eminem  
  
Janet Reno  
  
A fellow by the name of Author II  
  
Bill Gates  
  
Barbara Walters  
  
Mike Tyson  
  
Least but not last....that lady from 'Weakest Link' (she scares me) .  
  
And... three Micheal Jacksons: The female one, the male one, and the black one  
  
These bad guys form this 'Axis of Evil.' These are some real bad people, and we need to go get 'em, so they can't do any more evil things. Thank you, and goodnight.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Narrator II: Our heroes, Alice, Yugo, Uriko, and Kenji are all sitting a van... being driven by the Author to the White House to speak with President Bush.  
  
Author: OK, when I drop you off, everybody go inside and.. talk to the president.  
  
Kenji: I seriously doubt it's just _that _easy to talk to the President of the US, just walking in.  
  
Author: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find your way around.  
  
All: -_-  
  
Author: Alright, here we are. Now, go and talk to him.  
  
*Everybody gets out and Author drives away. Our heroes walk up to the entrance.*  
  
Guard: Excuse me, but you'll have to get in line, just like all the other tourists.  
  
*All look behind them to see a 50-foot long line to get into the White House.*  
  
Guard: If you don't get in line, I can't let you in.  
  
Kenji: Argh....  
  
Yugo: Oh, come on guys. It can't take THAT long.  
  
Narrator II: 3 hours later....  
  
Alice: This... sucks.  
  
Uriko: Tell me about it.  
  
Yugo: I don't get why we don't just transform and bust in.  
  
Kenji: ARE YOU NUTS?!  
  
Yugo: Probably. Anyways, I'm going in. *transforms*  
  
Narrator II: Yugo... *covers eyes*.....  
  
*Many screams are heard, and some people yelling. After a moment...*  
  
Alice: Yugo! Wait!!!! *Transforms and hops after Yugo..*  
  
Uriko: What are we gonna do now?!  
  
Kenji: I dunno. Follow them, I guess. *Runs after Alice and Yugo*  
  
Uriko: Grrr..... *follows Kenji*  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Narrator II: President Bush is sitting in his office...   
  
Bush: *Lookng at a $1 bill* Tell me... Mr. Washington.. how do I defeat this Axis of Evil?!?! I'm confused.... *pouts*... what am I gonna do....  
  
*Bush calls somebody on the phone.*  
  
Bush: Mom.... Mom I need help. Yeah.. well... I need to know how to defeat this Axis of Evil! I just don't know how... they are just too evil... maybe I should give up...  
  
*Yugo, followed by Alice, bust into the room.... morphed.*  
  
Bush: Look, Ma, I gotta go. The Wolfman and the Easter Bunny just came to see me. No, Mom, I'm not taking that medication anymore. Ma, I gotta go! Bye. *Click*  
  
*Alice and Yugo change back to normal*  
  
Bush: *Confused look*  
  
Alice: Um... we um.... we're here to defeat the Axis of Evil!  
  
Bush: No way! You're kiddin' me, right?  
  
Yugo: Nope.  
  
Bush: *does a little dance* Oh yeah, oh yeah... Axis of Evil is SO dead, they are SO dead...  
  
Alice: We just need to know where they are, and we'll go defeat them... *is reading off a piece of paper the Author gave to her.* *Whispering to Yugo* Author wants us to do WHAT?!  
  
Yugo: Just play along, I guess....  
  
Bush: OK, let me go get Mr. Cheny! He always knows what to do. *runs out the door, yelling "MR. CHENY, WHERE ARE YOU?? I NEED YOU....*  
  
Alice and Yugo: -_-  
  
*Uriko and Kenji come in*  
  
Kenji: Where's the US president?  
  
Yugo: Off to look for the Vice President...  
  
Kenji: Oh.  
  
Narrator II: After about 2 more hours, Bush comes back, and hands Alice a piece of paper.*  
  
Bush: This guy downstairs like, gave me this paper. I don't know what it is, but he says you'll need it.  
  
*Alice reads the paper: ADDRESS OF THE AXIS OF EVIL'S HQ......*  
  
Alice: Um... thanks.... bye I guess.  
  
Bush: Yeah, and remember, this Easter I want a new desk chair, alright? This one doesn't spin around enough. I mean, this one doesn't turn well at all.. *goes and sits on his desk chair, and tries to spin around in it.* See, it doesn't work too well........? Guys?  
  
Narrator II: They already left.  
  
Bush: Oh... darn it.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
*Everyone piles back into the car.*  
  
Author: Good job. Now... let's just go find them...  
  
Kenji: Where are we going?  
  
Author: Rural Ohio.  
  
Kenji: Um... oooook........  
  
------------------------------  
  
Narrator II: In the AoE's secret lair....  
  
Weakest-Link Lady: Now I'm sure you've all heard. Our former leader has been assassinated.  
  
Author II: Erm... ehehe......  
  
*All glare at Author II*  
  
WLL: In that case, we shall have a small contest for our new leader! Eminem, in math, what is the square root of 9456734?  
  
Eminem: I don't know, but you ####in' better get yo' #### ### off the ####in' befoh I cut yo' throat with a ####in' big knife then #### you up the...  
  
WLL: Incorrect! Janet, In Social Studies, where is America?  
  
Janet Reno: In... Amercia?  
  
WLL: Correct! Author II: who is more evil than anyone in the AoE?  
  
Author II: Cronos!  
  
WLL: Correct! Micheal Jackson, how far can you go into a forest before you're walking out of it?  
  
Black Micheal Jackson: Which Micheal Jackson? There's, me.. then the normal one.. then the girl MJ...  
  
WLL: Incorrect!  
  
WLL: Mr. Gates, what is the purpose of your existance?  
  
Bill Gates: To infect all computers in the world with Windows, of course.  
  
WLL: Correct! Barbara, what is your name?  
  
Barbara Walters: Bahbwa Wawas!  
  
WLL: Incorrect! That is the end of the first round... Mike, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!  
  
Mike Tyson: You didn't ask me a question, Ann! How was I supposed to..  
  
WLL: Goodbye!  
  
Mike Tyson: I'm callin' for a rematch.... *leaves the table.*   
  
WLL: Author II, why did you vote Mike off?  
  
Author II: Nobody voted anybody off! What are you talking about?  
  
WLL: I'm talking about, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Goodbye.  
  
Author II: ???  
  
WLL: Who else has 'personal' problems?  
  
Eminem: Look, beyotch, just shut yo' trap before I #### you in the ### so hard you #### on....  
  
WLL: SOMEbody got up on the wrong side of the bed, today, I see.. We'll be back, after these messages from bumbling idiots trying to sell you their products.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Lady: New! Orbit Gum! *Holds a pack of gum and points to it*  
  
Man: It's not that special...  
  
Lady: Gives you that 'just brushed' felling, no matter what! And, how does your mouth feel?  
  
Man: It feels.. okay?  
  
*Bright flash + 'ding' noise*  
  
------------------------------  
  
WLL: Welcome back to, 'Weakest-Link: Axis of Evil Edition'. Bill, what exactly would it mean if the Theory of Relativity was not true, and it was Tuesday, November 9th, of 2010?  
  
Bill: Well, to fully explain it, I would suggest that everybody should go read some books by the genius, Stephan Hawking. However, I will try to dumb it down as much as possible. First of all, all the computers should be running Windows. This will protect them from any bugs that might occurr due to the Theory of Relativity not being true. They should probably have the latest version if possible. If that's not possible, make it possible. My agents would come to your house and install it for you. I would then rip $250 out of your wallet. Now, assuming all of these computers are running Windows, and all the users of Macs have been assassinated, the world's leaders would be called to my palace. There, we would hold a meeting officially delcaring Windows the system of choice for... for the world. Then...  
  
WLL: I'm sorry, we have run out of time. You have banked nothing in that round. However, neither did anyone else, and at least Bill tried, so he will now become the leader of the Axis of Evil. This has been the Axis of Evil edition of the 'Weakest-Link'. Goodbye!  
  
------------------------------  
  
Author: Here you are....  
  
*Author drops them off at a little shack*  
  
Author: Go inside, then press the button on the right wall. A door shall open and lead you to the chambers of the Axis of Evil.  
  
Uriko: How do you know?!  
  
Author: Duh... I'm the Author. Now, go!  
  
------------------------------  
  
Girl Micheal Jackson: This is unfair! *pouts*  
  
Male MJ: It's OK, baby... when ya' got tha' moves... oh yeah... *starts preforming little dance moves*  
  
*All four of our heroes bust in the room, all transformed and ready to fight*  
  
Eminem: What the ####?  
  
Author II: Oh... no..... the Author sent you, didn't he!  
  
Alice: Why um... yes he did.  
  
Author II: I knew it!  
  
Yugo: It's about time we take you all on! GO! BARNEY!!  
  
Barney: *pops out of the pokeball* Barney, Barney! Bar bar, barneybar!  
  
Yugo: Use your Happy Sunshine Rays attack!  
  
*Barney lights up.. blinding most of the people in the room. Bill Gates, however... runs out a door while shielding his eyes.*  
  
Kenji: Follow him!  
  
*Alice, Kenji, Yugo, and Uriko all run out after Bill.*  
  
WLL: No.. it's so... happy! Impossible! *Weakest-Link-Lady spontaneously combusts*  
  
Janet Reno: No.... too much... light........  
  
---------------------------------  
  
*Bill Gates is followed into a small room with a table... on that table lied a big red button...*  
  
Bill: Don't make me push this!  
  
All: Why?  
  
Bill: Err.... because all big, red buttons to something bad! Bwahahahaha! *Gets ready to push the button*  
  
Yugo: Wait...no....  
  
Bill: Wha?  
  
Yugo: I understand now.. you're just a little insecure...little boy... arn't you..?  
  
Bill: What? No, I'm not! I'm a genius!  
  
Yugo: No... I can see it in your eyes...*slowly moves closer to Bill*  
  
Bill: What are you talking abou-OOF!  
  
*Yugo punches Bill in the nose*  
  
Uriko: We arn't letting YOU get off easy.... *hisses at Bill*  
  
Bill: I'll do anything you want..just please... *reaches slowly for the red button..*  
  
Alice: YUGO! NOW!!!  
  
Yugo: Huh?  
  
*Bill presses the red button, laughing.*  
  
Bill: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I NOW RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!! Vwahahahaha!  
  
Kenji: Then um... what... happened?  
  
Bill: *Blinks* ??? I um.... it....  
  
BVTCFNW: Self-Destruct in: 5 minutes...  
  
Bill: NO!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yugo: Sorry Bill... but we gotta jet! *All four run out... covering their eyes*  
  
Bill: You'll never get away!!! *runs after them*  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Eminem: This is ####in' hell.... ughh.....  
  
*The heroes run into the room and past the still-glowing Barney, followed by Bill.*  
  
Yugo: Barney! Return! *Gets ready to throw the Pokeball at Barney.... then looks at Bill...*....Kenji, quick! Throw this at Bill! You've got better aim then me...  
  
Kenji: Umm... ok....... *Takes the ball from Yugo and throws it at Bill*  
  
Bill: Get back here you- OW DAMMIT! *gets hit with ball* Ugh.....*falls to floor*  
  
------------------------------  
  
*Alice, Yugo, Uriko and Kenji all jump out of the shack, into Author's van, and drive away, just moments before.... before the shack falls over.*  
  
Uriko: We did it! And it's all thanks to Kenji! *Lovingly hugs him*  
  
Kenji: Err, why thanks! Of COURSE it was all because of me! Why, Author, you hould have seen me back there... I was-  
  
Yugo: Kenji.  
  
Kenji: ...y-yes?  
  
Yugo: Shut up.  
  
Narrator II: The car drives away... as the sun sets. Kenji and Uriko (much to Alice's dismay) are making out, and Yugo is crying over the loss of his favorite Pokemon. Oh well. Meanwhile, in the White House...  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Bush *on phone*: Look, Gore, I have already explained this to you... I am the President. The people picked me.  
  
Gore*on other end of the line*: No, Bush.... I'm sorry but I have to disagree...   
  
Bush: Well how come, then?  
  
Gore: I DID win the popular vote. The people actually picked me. But that's okay, because I know you'd be the better President... however.. the people DID pick me, but in the end I guess it was those dimpled chads that REALLY screwed things up.  
  
Bush: Who in the heck is this Chad guy?  
  
Narrator II: Ah.. Bush... always one to make me laugh....  
  
Author: Yeah.. and this time, it really is the end. Evil has been finally been defeated... for good.  
  
*Fade to black.*  
  
-----------------------------  
  
There. Happy now??? =P I suppose this is almost dumber than all the other chapters put together. Well, most of it came from ideas my freinds at school gave me, and alot of the credit for this chapter shall go to them. Thanks guys.  
  
Oh, and, before everybody starts hate-mailing me over the Axis of Evil thing... Janet Reno is pretty darn evil, I tell ya'! Come on! You all know it! Anyways, bye for now!  



End file.
